HOW TO CHOOSE A HUSBAND

I am writing this today from lessons learned years back due to having lived through the pain of selecting the wrong marriage partner. I say this after many years of reflection, for i can only assume that my ex-husband was not the person i was destined to be married to, since after only four short years he chose to leave the marriage for someone else. The dating process should be the most time consuming element of your adult life when selecting your future husband or wife. I don't believe in simply dating for the so-called fun of it. I believe in dating for a lifetime.

What does it entail to date your future spouse, well first and foremost, i believe that we should never date someone who doesn't meet our standards for a marriage partner. There is one thing men and women need to remember when selecting your future husband or wife, you are not simply selecting a spouse for yourself, you are selecting a mother or a father for your future children. So with this in mind it is essential that you choose your future husband or wife quite selectively to say the least. Is there really any wonder at the ever climbing divorce rate in our society today. We choose our husband or wife just as casually as we choose what's for dinner. You must remember one thing this person, this man or woman is applying for a job, yes that's right, the job of being your husband or wife, not to mention the mother or father to your future children. How then i must ask can we simply select whom we date with little to no real thought about it. This decision to date whomever you choose can cost you in the long run so much. I must inform you, "love is never enough," it doesn't pay the bills, it doesn't cover your daily expenses to exist as husband and wife, it doesn't really do anything, and even more so often what people call love is simply momentary lust. I must educate all who read this, listen to me when i say this that love proves itself over time. When you are dating to select your potential marriage partner, ask yourself this question, "would this person take care of me if i could do virtually nothing for myself?" That is i believe the key ingredient to determine love verses lust!

When you choose your future husband or wife what exactly i must ask you will they contribute to your life and to that of your future children? There is often so much uncertainty of what the future might hold in a relationship in general, however i feel there shouldn't have to be that uncertainty in a marriage. The mere torture of wondering if your husband or wife is coming home each day when you suspect they are having an affair is reason enough to date cautiously thus choosing your future spouse selectively. The one thing we need to remember is you can't change your husband or wife to fit what you want them to be. If the person you are dating is doing all this stuff you don't like before your marriage, please don't expect them to change once you say your i do's. It's a proven fact their not going to change. The only person you can change is yourself and how you respond to your spouse in different situations. I think this is at least something to think long and hard about before you should simply accept a marriage purposal so casually.

This may seem off base to some in reference to, "how to choose a husband," but i believe it is right on target after having lived through my own husbands departure from our marriage / family years back. The financial realm of things directly affects your future marriage, so with that in consideration i believe it is a must that you get those finances in order before you get married. Let's face it life is tough at times, so going into a marriage you don't want to start off on the wrong foot. Let me give you an example, your dating a guy named Tom who works at perhaps McDonalds. Let's just assume that he isn't the manager just an hourly wage employee. Would this guy be a good candidate for a marriage prospect, proboly not. I know your in love, but come on let's think it through unless Tom is trying to move forward, education wise or in his life he's a no go for marriage. I would suggest choosing a husband or wife who you feel is going places, who has goals, things that he / she wants to accomplish. If the love of your life is simply satisfied with an hourly job with no inspiration to move forward, i would advice you to consider long and hard before you would accept his marriage porposal. This is just one of the many things that played itself out in my own marriage years back, although my husband at the time had a better job than hourly wages, we struggled enormously in the financial realm of things, the bottom line our finances were a mess.

So your dating, fighting, breaking up and all of the above. My advice, let the relationship go, run as fast as you can and start anew. This person is not for you, it may be a hard realization, but it's much better to come to this conclusion when your simply dating rather than after your married with children. If the pattern in your relationship is that above, it would only transfer into your marriage relationship. I speak from having been there, lessons learned, i know first hand when you get that feeling in your gut that this relationship isn't right, that i need to let it go, but that so-called love makes you run after it like some love crazed school girl. I know what it is to not be able to do what my intelligence tells me i must do, those crazy emotions of love seem so overwhelming and once again i find myself drawn to what would only cause me so much more pain down the road, and this my dear friend is exactly what happened all those years ago in my own personal situation.

So you've come through it all and dated your future husband or wife quite cautiously to say the least. I think your beginning to realize just how big the dating / marriage relationships can directly affect every area of your adult life. The time that you have spent to actually get to know your future spouse, their likes, dislikes, desires and goals for his / her future is i must say time well spent. So you've set a wedding date and, the excitement is building, you've planned for this day for a long time and now i must add your future spouse awaits for you on this your wedding day!